Dear Journal
by xXLunarEclipse896Xx
Summary: A series of journal entries written by our favorite tsundere Italian; containing days and thoughts of randomness, anger, embarrassment, and love. List of pairings is inside.
1. Entry 1

Dear Journal,

You know how people say the French are so sophisticated and romantic? Well, they're fucking stupid, if they believe that crap. Francis is a complete bastard that tries to rape everyone he comes in contact with, be it child or adult. I swear, he's almost raped me on several occasions, all of them in public! Not to mention the fact that he molests everyone, friend or foe. He's even molested Arthur before, and they're always at each other's throats! What a goddamn idiot, that French dolt! One of these days, I'm going to point a revolver right between his eyes and pull the damn trigger. Maybe then everyone will respect me more!

Anyways, last night, Francis struck again. And, as usual, it was in a public place.

So last night was the annual Christmas party, and it was being held at Alfred's house, again. The party was going fine until Gilbert and that freaking scary Ivan brought out the alcohol (beer and vodka, pretty much), and soon half of the nations there were drunk. I sure as hell wasn't one of them; last time I got drunk on vodka, I took off all of my clothes and sang a bunch of Italian folk songs while trying to strip down Feliciano (he still gets scared about it when he sees me drinking). Arthur was drunk, as usual. But I don't think Alfred minded too much, since he was the one trying to persuade Arthur upstairs to his bedroom (those goddamn fags). I was getting tired of the party, especially since a bunch of the drunk nations starting showing off their horrible karaoke skills. I started looking for Antonio, as he was my ride home. When I found him in the kitchen, I nearly screamed in both horror and disgust. There was Antonio, the Spaniard I've known for centuries, half naked and pinned down under an over zealous and very naked Francis. It was goddamn wrong! Antonio was drunk, and Francis was just going to rape him then and there, in freaking public! In an effort to save Antonio, I grabbed a frying pan that was left on the counter and charged towards Francis.

Of course, everything went south from there, and not in the way you think. Francis must have heard me rushing towards him, so he leapt off of Antonio and started charging towards me like some kind of demon! It was scary, damn it! I shut my eyes and swung the pan randomly in the air, only to miss and let Francis rush right past me. It was all too weird. Francis had rushed past me and ran out to the party room, screaming out, "WHO WANTS SOME OF FRANCIS!!? I HAVE MISTLETOE TOO!!" Yeah, on his goddamn crotch. Everyone out there screamed and soon it was hell. And Alfred was nowhere to be seen (most likely upstairs, doing something dirty with the drunk Arthur. He's just as bad as Francis, that fag). I rushed over to Antonio after that, trying to see if he was alright. The goddamn tomato bastard threw up on my clothes. I dragged him out to his car, and we drove to the airport.

I just hope Francis didn't rape everyone there after we left.

That's all for now. Feliciano is with that potato bastard right now, I can just feel it! Whenever those two are hanging out, I get this weird feeling in my gut, like its telling me that Ludwig is sharing those goddamn wursts with Feliciano! They're both stupid, damn it! Like hell I'm letting my younger brother become that potato freak's little underling! I'm fucking going to kill him if he does; both of them!

~Lovino Vargas

P.S: **THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DIARY! IF SOMEONE IS READING MY JOURNAL, I WILL FIND YOU! THEN I'LL GET ANTONIO TO GO ARMADA ON YOUR SORRY ASS, YOU BASTARD! BUT IF YOU'RE ANTONIO, I'LL CRUSH YOUR GODDAMN VITAL REGIONS!!! **

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**I liked the idea of Lovino carrying a diary...er....journal, around with him, so I decided to write this down. I'm thinking about writing more journal stories for other characters later on, based on how well this one goes. There are pairings, so I'll list them:**

**Spain/Romano**

**America/England **

**N. Italy/Germany**

**If you want any others, just tell me, okay? I would also appreciate reviews, so don't hesitate to click that button! **

**~LunarEclipse896 (aka Lunar)**


	2. Entry 2

_**Entry 2, here we go!**_

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Dear Journal,

I fucking hate Russians.

Not only do they scare the shit out of me, they somehow manage to pop up from just about anywhere; and I don't mean places like around the corner of the street or at the marketplace. Today, Ivan popped up out of my goddamned closet. Don't even ask me how the hell he even got in there, let alone my house, but he did. It scared me to no end. Since when am I the target of that damn Russian? Why not someone closer!? Why not Francis, since nobody would give a damn if he was kidnapped!?

So here's how it all happened:

I was cooking pasta for lunch again, making an extra portion for that tomato bastard as I sometimes did on the weekends (Antonio is getting really lazy when it comes to cooking meals for himself, so I'm bringing him food on some weekends during the month. I sure as hell am not letting him eat that stuff Francis is offering him all the time...it might be laced with some kind of date-rape drug or whatever. After that Christmas party incident, I have to make sure Antonio doesn't get into any more trouble, that jackass bastard! He's giving me even more work to do!). As soon as I finished cooking the pasta, I got it all prepared in containers and put it in a large brown bag for easy transportation and stuff. So then, I headed towards my hallway closet to get my coat, since it was still winter and all. And what do you know? Suddenly, some fucking insane Russian pops out of the closet and grabs me! It was that sadistic freak, Ivan! I was freaked out, and I sure as hell wished someone was there to save me, damn it!

"Ready to become one with Mother Russia, da?" Why does that phrase sound so fucked up? In more ways than one? Anyways, the vodka bastard picked me up and headed towards the door, laughing like some insane child! He was about to kidnap me then and there, and there was nobody around to save me! Well, Feliciano was close enough, but I'm pretty sure that wimp wouldn't save me at all on his own. "I'll stop by your brother's house too," Ivan hummed merrily. Just what the fuck goes on his mind?! I was still shouting for help, squirming around to escape the bastard's iron grip. At that point, I had lost all hope. It was all Antonio's fault, damn it! Suddenly, the potato bastard broke down the door, Feliciano trembling behind him like the wimp he is. Feliciano was wailing, "Uwaaah! I told you, Ludwig! He's kidnapping Big Brother!! Uwaah!" Shut the fuck up, you wimp... God, I just hate the sound of his wailing. Its almost as bad as how that goddamn Arthur cooks.

Even though I hate his guts, I owe Ludwig big time. He's just as scary as Ivan, so Ivan sighed and admitted defeat. That jackass put me down, patted my head, and walked out as if nothing happened! What the hell!? I was tempted to throw something at his head; but as it was Ivan, I just ignored the desire.

Feliciano started wailing about how scary Ivan is, and Ludwig started trying to comfort me and Feliciano at the same time. That fucker... I don't need his sympathy! He can take his patronizing words and shove it down his own throat, along with those slimy potatoes and wursts of his! I'm not like Feliciano, who clings to anyone that protects him. I can kick ass just like anyone else. Really! I just haven't really felt like doing it lately, so that's why!

So, yeah. I hate Russians. **AND GERMANS! **That potato freak is going to get his ass kicked if he breaks down my door like that again, leta lone tries to befriend me! Now I have to cook more goddamn pasta for Antonio, since Ivan made me drop it all over the floor. Wait till I tell Antonio about this, and I'll make sure he chokes on the guilt! He almost got me freaking kidnapped, damn it! I have to fix my door to, so I better throw that in too.

Also, why do people say Antonio and I look like a freaking couple!? We're not a couple, nor will we ever be. Don't they understand how fucked up that idea is!? The next person that "Awwww...."s at us is getting his or her vocal cords ripped out and trampled on. We're not fags at all! Even if Antonio is (which he isn't!!!), I sure as hell am straight.

~Lovino Vargas


	3. Entry 3

Dear Journal,

Forgetting to hide you is not the brightest idea, especially since my stupid brother keeps inviting people over for no good reason at all. I am really scared now, because Francis knows I keep you, and he might start telling people. Fuck, that is the last thing I need... I can't even ask the tomato bastard for help either, unless I want him to start begging to read you every time I see him. And if I tell Feliciano, he'll blab to every country he runs into (I've learned that the hard way, trust me. Once I told him that "touched" myself, because Francis lied and told me it would increase my country's luck with money. Feliciano told everyone what I did, and I was unable to show my face in public for weeks...)

So, Feliciano invited Francis over for lunch (God knows why), and I was pretty sure that Francis was planning something. Whenever I see Francis smiling in a creepy way, I make sure to stay out of sight. The smile means he's running on his never-ending sex drive, and I was not going to let myself get molested or whatever by that wino freak. I hid myself in the upstairs guest room, locked the door, and hid under the bed. If Francis somehow managed to get in (like Ivan somehow managed to get into my closet that one time, he wouldn't have been able to find me. I was feeling pretty good about my sly plan, but then I started feeling scared for Feliciano. My dumbass of a brother wouldn't have been able to tell if Francis was about to jump across the table and rape him! Hell, he'd probably start asking what "Big Brother" was doing without his clothes on! I was stupid enough to leave the room to go see if Feliciano was alright (and still fully clothed). And what do you know? I find Feliciano humming like a freaking dolt, alone at the table with a dopey grin on his face.

I asked where Francis went, and Feliciano, to my horror, said he went upstairs to find something. At that point, I was sure he was getting ready to do something nasty to us. Francis is a sicko, and he wouldn't hesitate to do something strange in our rooms... like playing with our stuff in strange ways or touching himself up there..... Gods, just how in the name of hell does Francis NOT have some kind of STDs? He's all over the place...

I hurried up to my room, because I realized that I left you on my desk, wide open and on the latest entry. When I entered my room, I saw Francis with you propped open. And to my horror, he was LAUGHING! He looked up at me and started asking me fucking questions about Antonio! How I feel about him, and if I really hated French customs so much! It was pure fucking hell! After I started screaming at him to stop and get the fuck out of our house, Francis said that he'll be checking back soon, to see what else he'll find out about me. LIKE FUCKING HELL I WILL LET THAT HAPPEN!

After he left, I promptly kicked Feliciano's privates, swearing to murder him if he ever invited Francis over for lunch again. And trust me, Journal, I **will** live up to that promise.

Also, everything that Francis said is a LIE! I DO NOT HAVE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT ANTONIO, AND I NEVER WILL!!!

~Lovino Vargas


	4. Entry 4

Dear Journal,

After the incident with Francis (not the Christmas Molest-Fest, the Journal Reading thing), I hid you in a place that nobody would even dare to look. I hid you in my "Business Room", which is the room I settle my mafia issues and meet with some members. I don't see why everyone despises them…they're actually pretty nice, if you don't fucking piss them off or do something wrong. Besides, Kiku has the same kind of thing! He has the Yakuza (which is copying MY mafia, by the way), and yet everyone thinks Kiku is so nice and innocent. At least people realize how badass I can be, goddamn it! Anyways, nobody dares to go in there, not even that potato freak that my stupid brother always hangs out with. I'm not sure about Ivan though…but screw him!

Besides hiding you somewhere safe, I was forced to go visit that loudmouthed American bastard today for business. Feliciano had to come too, but he was pretty much daydreaming like always (if he tried being more serious once in a while, I'd try to too. But since he doesn't, I don't give a damn if people think I'm lazy. I'm still better than my dumbass brother). America is so different than Italy, Journal. Different people, language (they mix everything there!), land, weather….and holy shit, their pasta is horrible. Alfred made some and offered it to us, and it tasted like crap. It was that fast food pasta you buy at stores, the ones that are premade at factories. I swear, Feliciano looked like he was about to faint or die; if he did either, I would have murdered that American bastard on the spot for food poisoning my little brother! Anyways, when we started talking business, some interrupted us. And that someone just happened to be that tea-sipping bastard, Arthur. My first thought was, "Why the fuck is he here?" Then Arthur walked down the stairs, and I pretty much guessed why. His hair was all messy (like he just woke up), he looked worn out, he had this hazy look in his eyes, and he was in his pajamas. I'm guessing the American dolt forgot to tell him we were coming, because Arthur looked like he just discovered the most shocking secret in the world

You should have seen how red his face became when he realized Feliciano and I were there. Mama mia….and I thought I blushed too deeply! Apparently, after the Christmas Molest-Fest (the term I shall forever call that fucked up event), Arthur and Alfred hooked up (remember when I spotted Alfred coaxing the drunk Arthur upstairs? Well, apparently, they did IT… those goddamn freaks are gay!! That is so unholy and against my religion!!). How stupid is Alfred, really!? He didn't tell his boyfriend he was having guests coming over!? It was at that moment that I decided to start pointing out how fucked up their relationship is; they're both male, they used to be like brothers, and they're both dumbasses.

That got us kicked out of the bastard's house.

Damn it, I really didn't give a shit if I insulted them! They're both freaks, and I don't care if they go to hell! Screw them! Besides, I have other things to worry about. Apparently, Francis told some people that I keep you (he told them it was a diary, which caused a lot of people to tease me....) After getting back from America, I got a call from that cross-dressing moron, Feliks. He asked me if we could start a "Diary Club", since he kept one too. The dumbass keeps a pink, frilly diary with a bunch of wussy stuff in and on it, so there is no way in hell I will associate with that idiot. Feliciano found out too, and asked if he could read it. What a dumbass!

And am I the only one that finds it strange that Francis told practically everyone, but not Antonio? I'm getting a bad feeling about this, goddamn it. If Francis told him what I wrote about him, I'll kill him! Chigi!!! I mean, I don't want anyone to know what I wrote about Antonio. I don't like him or anything like that, though! I just find it weird! Besides, who would like Antonio? Sure, he's nice and doting but I don't like that kind of stuff! I would rather go die in a hole than kiss that tomato bastard.

~Lovino Vargas

Shit, I should stop writing in pen. That part about kissing Antonio, I have NEVER dreamt or thought of kissing him!

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**Lovino is in major denial. But hey, he's tsundere, so its all good! **

**I think most of you can guess what Arthur and Alfred were doing before the Italian brothers showed up. Poor Iggy, Alfred really should have told him that people were coming over. So Alfred got all ready and dressed, while poor Arthur slept in and wandered downstairs, not knowing their were guests present. Next entry will have Antonio/Lovino, and not just the usual denial stuff. **


	5. Entry 5

Dear Journal,

Antonio is a goddamn tomato bastard with stupid hair, and he'll go die in a hole because he is such a fucking dumbass from hell. AND I WILL LAUGH!!! HA! Serves that tomato bastard right, dying in a hole is the perfect death for the likes of him!

Journal, you're probably wondering why I am laughing about my death-fantasy for the bastard. I'll tell you why. THE BASTARD IS IMPURE!!! **IMPURE!!!** I SHOULD HAVE LET FRANCIS RAPE HIM AT THE CHRISTMAS PARTY, BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T HAVE CARED IF IT HAPPENED ANYWAYS!!!

So I was talking to him today at his house. Nothing special, we were just hanging out and stuff. Then the dumbass started asking me if I've ever slept with someone before. What kind of moron asks someone that out of the blue!? I thought he was trying to make a pass at me or whatever, so I replied, "Why? Haven't you?" Okay, okay. I have NEVER done the dirty before, and I won't until I get married. Its kind of odd for a guy to say that (usually it's the girls who say that stuff), but I don't give a damn! Anyways, Antonio started babbling on and on about his past experiences in BED! He started telling me who he's slept with (and not just countries….humans too! The sleazy fucking bastard!!), and where! God, the couch I was sitting on was a spot too! I jumped off it really fast, then left.

I can't believe the bastard has slept with people before! I mean, yeah, I guess he would have (pirating days and all), but still! It makes me mad, damn it, and I have no clue why it even fucking does! I shouldn't care if he's kissed or slept with people, but I do! I swear, his stupidity must be contagious or something. If he even tries to apologize to me, I'll shove a fucking tomato down his goddamn throat, got it!? I don't care if the bastard raised me! He is just as bad as that wino French freak!

Things I HATE about Antonio: He's stupid, he's too lazy to cook for himself, he's had sex with females AND males, he's kissed before, his hair is too curly, he is fucking annoying, he likes Feliciano better than me, he makes me feel weird inside, he always pinches my cheeks, he embarrasses me in public, he is too protective, and he just fucking pisses me off.

Things I don't hate about Antonio: He introduced me to tomatoes, he makes me food sometimes, he beats up bullies, he makes me feel weird inside.

I know I wrote down "makes me feel weird inside" twice, but I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. Fuck, this entire thing is pissing me off!!! I hate him more than I like him, so at least that's normal. I'm going to consult Roderich about this sometime later on (not his perverted wife, Elizaveta. The woman tried making me do weird things to Feliciano. THINGS THAT NO BROTHER SHOULD DO TO HIS BROTHER!!! And not that dumbass Gilbert either. He'll just say he's awesome and start bossing me around)

I FUCKING HATE THIS!!!!! CHIGI!!!!!

~Lovino Vargas

I really need to stop writing in pen, for fuck's sake!!!

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**Lovino is in denial, as usual. So he's pretty much jealous that Antonio has already done "IT" and kissed, so he's going to ask Frederich why he feels like this. **

**Reviews please!**


	6. Entry 6

**In the last entry, I gave Austria the wrong name. His name is indeed Roderich, not Frederich. I made this error because I saw his name as Frederich on a fansite, and so I thought it was his name. This means I wrote his name wrong in my other story "Pieces of the Puzzle"!!! *dies***

**Well, whatever. I went back and fixed the last entry, so all is well once more! *dramatic sobs of joy***

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Dear Journal,

Today was fucked up.

On my way out to go talk to Roderich, I saw Feliciano getting all dressed up, and he was wearing the stupidest smile in the world. I asked him what the hell he was doing, and he gave me the most horrifying words in the world for an answer. MY DUMBASS LITTLE BROTHER IS **DATING** THAT POTATO BASTARD!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!??? I have no clue how the hell it happened, but it Potato Bastard's fault. It just has to be. Since when does my little brother date and flirt with GUYS!? Stupid German freak must have tricked him into it, I just know it. When I see Ludwig again, I will murder him on the spot for sure! FOR FUCKING SURE!!! Oh hell, if Feliciano EVER comes home early in the morning after a date, saying his body is sore from "activities", I will get my mafia to kill BOTH OF THEM! My little brother is gay!! Why!? How can he go against our faith in such a way!!??

After that horrifying experience, I talked to Roderich. Guess what? He wasn't the one to tell me anything. Apparently, that sex-crazed Hungarian woman was eavesdropping, and she just popped out of nowhere to start explaining it all to me. Half of the stuff was about sex, sex positions, sex objects, and ways to have sex. What the fuck is wrong with that woman, I **SOOOOOOO** do **NOT** want to take part in any of that fucked up stuff with Antonio, or any other man!! Then she was talking about love and yaoi (Which happens to be male/male, a term invented in Japan. Its mostly used to describe male/male sex… Kiku is one screwed up bastard. I think I'll call him Sushi Bastard from now on), and then she started telling me to go to Antonio and proclaim my love. WHAT LOVE!!???? WHY ANTONIO!!?? If I ever fall in love, it will be with a **FEMALE**. To make things worse, after Elizaveta finished her rant about sex and love (both of which I am not seeking in Antonio, goddamn it!), Potato Bastard #2 (Gilbert) came in and started telling me to be the dominant one. WHY DOES EVERYTHING GO BACK TO SEX!!!???? Sex isn't the only part of a relationship! It needs love, understanding, trust…..you get the idea!

I am never asking those three for advice again. If I asked for advice on how to fix something, it will somehow drift onto the topic of yaoi. I just know it. I still have no freaking clue why I even give a damn about what Antonio does, or why I feel strange around him. I might be sick, I should call the doctor later this week. Well, I've made a list of who I will ask for advice.

People I will ask: Arthur (He's a lot better at explain things. When I asked him what suicide was, he explained without making it awkward. Don't ask why I asked him that, got it?), Heracles (He's straightforward in answers), and Yao (Oh, what the hell. I'll fucking give it a shot).

People I will NEVER ask: Alfred (Even though he is dating *and screwing* Arthur, he is really bad at explaining things. He can't read the atmosphere, ever!!), Ivan (He might try to kidnap me again!!), Francis (No way in hell will I ever ask that rapist for help), and Feliks (That moron would start talking about ponies again).

I feel so weird around Antonio nowadays. It gets too hard to even look at him without feeling so weird, and I feel like its 100 degrees around me for some reason. I might be coming down with something, like a fever or a disease. What disease makes you stutter like a complete dumbass, and turn warm? I should look it up online before I go to sleep.

Well, I better go murder that Potato Bastard for dating my brother. I swear, if he kisses Feliciano or anything…I'LL GO MAFIA ON HIS SORRY ASS! BANG! RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! (Not you, Journal. I'm referring to that German dumbass).

~Lovino Vargas

P.S: I just remembered that I'm not eating dinner tonight. Feliciano is making those goddamn sausages again.


	7. Entry 7

Dear Journal,

I still haven't started asking people about Antonio, because after that experience with those three dip-shits, I feel a little self-conscious. Anyways, I have a secret. Its really embarrassing, and I don't want anybody to know what it is but you, my trusty Journal. You see, I've kind of gotten into the habit of reading those comics from Sushi Bastard's country. You know, manga or whatever? Its not really that part I'm embarrassed about.

I read shoujo-manga, which is manga for girls. Most of the manga are about romance, high school issues, and other problems girls face. I'm not some freaking pervert that likes looking at girls from weird angles in a graphic novels, got it!? That is something Francis would do!!! That fucking wino probably has yaoi and yuri (gay and lesbian, ugh) porn stashed somewhere in his house! I am not that demented, got it! Besides, Feliciano reads shoujo-manga too. After I finish the newest volume of _Vampire Knight _(Yuuki/Kaname forever!)_,_ I'll be lending it to him. I swear, if that fucking dumbass spills pasta on it, I will murder him. Then again, I still need to murder him for dating Potato Bastard. So, my secret is that I like girl manga. So what? I can't help it if all the guy manga is filled with disgusting gore scenes and a bunch of pervert jokes, not to mention the corny violence! Girl manga deals more with feelings, so there!

Well, nothing of interest happened today. I pretty much just stayed home and read about five different volumes of _Vampire Knight _and _Skip Beat_. I made some biscotti, but they got burned to crisp because Feliciano was impatient (The dumbass turned up the dial to 500 FUCKING DEGREES!!!!). They tasted like crap, and they easily could have been mistaken for Arthur's goddamn cooking.

Speaking of Arthur, I should talk to him tomorrow about this Antonio deal. I'll write down everything we talked about after I get back, so expect a lot tomorrow. Agh, I still have so many pages to fill, damn it. Why did I get such a large journal? No offense, Journal. You were worth every penny (I bought you in America, remember? I was bored on the trip, damn it).

Okay, and if, God forbid, anyone is reading this.... SO FUCKING WHAT IF I ENJOY SHOUJO-MANGA!!?? WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE!? AND WHY THE HELL ARE YOU READING MY JOURNAL, YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLE!!!??? GO DIE IN A HOLE OR SOMETHING, OR ELSE I'LL FIND YOU!

(Just a precaution, because I saw Feliciano sneaking around in my room earlier. He was either trying to steal one of my manga or trying to find you, my Journal. I think he was looking for you, because he was looking around the places he's seen me writing at. The no good homo-dumbass.... I should lock him in the closet or something. Wow, unintended pun there. Go back in the closet, Feliciano. Stop dating the goddamn Potato and go back into the closet. Wow, I sure can sound bitchy at times, damn it. I hope Feli doesn't read this part, or else he'll be crying non-stop. Too bad, though. Life can be a bitch, and so can I. But I'm not a girl, I'm a guy!!!)

Well, I better go thank Sushi Bastard for introducing manga to me.

~Lovino Vargas

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***GASP* The truth is out.... Lovino is a shoujo-manga fanatic! And he loves Vampire Knight! **

**Pure crack in this entry, an idea I came up with when watching some Higurashi Parody Fandub episodes on Youtube. I just wanted to make Lovino a fan(girl) of shoujo-manga, and I was laughing as I pictured him pouring over a volume of Vampire Knight. **

**Warning: Biscotti should never be cooked at 500 degrees. **

**Review please!**


	8. Entry 8

**So, finally, Romano will be asking Arthur for advice. But as we all know, Alfred just has this amazing ability to pop out of nowhere...especially when Arthur is around.**

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Dear Journal,

I finally got around to asking Arthur about Antonio. Only problem is that I didn't learn anything while I was there, because that goddamn American dumbass just sprung out of nowhere. Just how the hell does he do that?! Why does everyone I hate have that ability (Francis, Ivan, Feliciano, Antonio, Gilbert, Alfred.....)!? The world just isn't freaking safe anymore, damn it!

So when I got there, I told Arthur about how I feel around that tomato bastard and how I always feel kind of warm and feverish too. He got this amused look in his eyes (Jerk....), and he was smiling a bit too! I asked him what the hell he was smiling at, and he repeated what I said to him and Alfred earlier this week (Remember when I went to America with Feliciano, and I started snapping at Alfred and Arthur for their relationship?). The fucking bastard must be screwed in the head or something, because I have no clue why he even brought that up. Well, before I could even ask what he meant by that, Alfred sprung out of nowhere like the dumbass he is and started shouting random crap.

I swear, these two are the biggest idiots in the freaking world! Besides Feliciano and Antonio, anyways. Alfred was just shouting stuff about "dates" and "movies" and "hearts" and "kisses"!

Is he suggesting that I actually have some kind of crush on the tomato bastard? Everyone has been telling me that recently, but I don't think that's it! I'm Catholic and all, so I can't actually love him! He's a fucking male, for the love of tomatoes! Do you have any fucking idea what would happen if my people discovered that I liked him (which I DO NOT!)!? The mafia would tie me up then slowly stab me until I looked like some kind of pasta noodle covered in blood!!

Well Arthur was no fucking help at all. He could have been, I guess, but his stupid boyfriend just had to jump in and ruin everything. Arthur was pretty pissed too, but I guess they'll just do the dirty and make up (I guess that is how it works for those freaks). Just looking at them being all lovey-dovey is so damn weird for me! It makes me all flustered and embarrassed just watching them!!

Oh yeah, remember how Feliciano is dating that damn potato? Well, I kind of walked in on them. DO YOU HAVE ANY FLIPPING IDEA HOW FUCKED UP MY MIND IS RIGHT NOW!!!?? WHENEVER I CLOSE MY EYES, I CAN SEE THEM!! IT FUCKING BURNS!!

THEY WERE FEEDING EACH OTHER WURSTS!!!

**WURSTS!!!!!!**

If they're going to act all gay and lovey-dovey in this house, they could at least eat some decent food like tomatoes or pasta! Seriously, wursts!? What the hell!? I was tempted to throw my boot at them or something! If they did anything dirty, I swear to God, Feliciano can kiss his beloved new volume of _Ouran Host Club_ goodbye! I will give it to Antonio or something, not that I want to give him anything but whatever. La-De-Fucking-Da.

Tomorrow, I will ask Heracles. That bastard better not talk about sex, because I'll kick his sorry ass if he does.

~Lovino Vargas

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**Lovino hates wursts. Enough said. Next up is Heracles' "talk", and Kiku (aka Sushi Bastard) will show up too. **

**~La-De-Fucking-Da~ (Term came from my friend that usually says the randomest stuff ever. He's awesome, ^_^)**


	9. Entry 9

**I lied. I was going to update this weekend, but I couldn't resist writing another entry. I just love Romano, and I roleplay as him sometimes to with my pals. Well, this story should be finishing up soon. Maybe about five more entries? I'm just guessing, so don't panic!**

**Anyways, as soon as this Diary-Fic is finished, I'll be writing another one written by Antonio. It will be occurring at the same time as this Diary-Fic, and it will be called "**_**Querido Diario"**_**. I'm looking forward to writing this one! :)**

**On with the entry!**

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Dear Journal,

I'm starting to call my sanity into question. Every freaking person I know is either in a homosexual relationship or is sex-crazed! Am I the only one that still has a sense of moral value, or am I just fucked up for actually talking to these people!?

So remember how I said I would talk to Heracles about this goddamn Antonio situation that is pissing me off? Well, I tried to. The Lord knows I tried to, but I didn't dare interrupt whatever the fucking hell he was doing to Kiku. Whenever I close my eyes, I can still see those sadistic things they were doing to each other!! These people are sick!! And why the hell is Sushi Bastard having a relationship with that Greek sex-maniac!? Just how the fuck did that happen? But I swear, whatever they were doing was **INHUMANE. **

Speaking of sadistically inhumane, Feliciano has rope-burn marks on his wrists. And guess what!? Last night, he went out on a date with that goddamn German potato-freak, and he sure as hell did **NOT** have those!!! Just what is that bastard doing to my little brother!!?? I can't even stand the thought of them even looking at each other, but THIS is way too much. I'm starting to wonder if the world is even a safe place anymore.

And to make my day even worse, Antonio called. I haven't talked to him since he revealed his goddamn sleazy past to me, and I sure as hell didn't want to talk to him. Despite how much I wanted to shout at him to go die in a hole or whatever, I picked up the phone. I'm fucking stupid. The first thing the bastard did was shout, "Lovi~! Are you mad at me?? Are you? Don't be mad, I'm sorry if I made you mad! But what did I do? Lovi~?" And for some strange reason, I was a bit happy. I liked the bastard apologizing to me, and it made me feel awesome. So now I'm heading over to his house tomorrow for some paella. At least the bastard is cooking, and not me.

But seriously, I'm starting to wonder if I'm going crazy. I actually liked talking to him!! And I was stammering and all that school-girl shit. I must have sounded like the biggest dumbass in the world, and he's probably laughing his ass off right now. Damn it, I better keep my cool tomorrow.

From now on, I'll be getting my advice from my favorite shoujo manga. At least they don't have sex when you need their advice.

~Lovino Vargas


	10. Entry 10

**I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers, nor do I own the characters. All rights go to the respectful owners.**

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Dear Journal,

Is kissing a guy considered homosexual? Let me rephrase that. Is kissing a guy _multiple times_ in one day considered homosexual? Why the fuck am I even asking you, a freaking journal, this question!? Of course its homosexual. So, guess what? I'm going to hell. Straight to hell, and I'll be dragging the tomato bastard along with me. But I really don't want to go to hell! I'm all freaked out and scared now, damn it! Will the Lord really hate me for kissing another guy? Why is my religion so intimidating at times?! Damn it!!!

So let me tell you what happened, and why I'm going to rot in hell like the miserable bastard I really am. Remember how Antonio invited me over to his house yesterday? Well, I decided to go. Besides, Feliciano was inviting Potato Bastard over, and I sure as hell did not want to be around when they went upstairs to his room. Anyways, I decided to go to Antonio's. He told me not to bring any food, because he was going to cook, but I felt like cooking something, damn it. I made some biscotti and hurried my ass over there. I was still embarrassed, because I sounded like a fucking little school girl on the phone yesterday, and he probably laughed his ass off at that. But when I got there, he was being his usually dumbass-self.

Nothing really happened for the first hour. We just talked about random stuff, like tomatoes and what's going on with other nations. Then we ate the food (the best was my biscotti, of course). The guy just wouldn't shut up, though! It was all stuff I didn't really care about, like what he did with Francis and Gilbert the other day. I fucking don't like the idea of him hanging out with that French bastard. After that Christmas Molest-Fest, I've been careful to avoid him, and I was hoping Antonio would too.

Well, after we ate, we just watched some movies. And then something unbelievable happened. Antonio, the guy I've known and hung out with since I was little, grabbed me and kissed me on the lips. OF COURSE I PUSHED HIM OFF!!! Seriously, it was fucking weird! But what was weirder was that I suddenly found myself kissing him again and again, I was pretty much asking for more!

Thankfully, I regained my sanity and pushed him off. Then I got the fuck out of there before the bastard could even try it again. I sinned big time, and I am definitely going to confession later this week. It's all his fault, duh! But I was kissing him back, and I think I actually enjoyed it. Well, I'm going straight to hell, and pretty much everyone I know will be joining me. We're all fucked up in a way, I guess. BUT I WAS FUCKING KISSING ANTONIO!!! The bastard wants into my pants! INTO MY PANTS!!! I have to steer clear of him, because I totally do NOT want to get all 'high' again and let him do whatever the hell he wants.

BUT REALLY, IN MY PANTS!!?? What the hell happened to 'my sweet little Lovi'? Now he wants me!? I thought I was his cute little Lovino or whatever the hell he calls me! Just what the fuck is wrong with the world nowadays!? Well, see you in hell, Journal.

~Lovino Vargas

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**Antonio finally made his move, and Lovino is STILL in denial. Hey, at least he was kissing back. Now he's starting to acknowledge something is going on, and I'm sure we all know that our beloved Spaniard won't leave him alone. Has anyone else noticed how Christianity is a bit intimidating?**

**ANTONIO WANTS INTO LOVINO'S PANTS!!!**

**Oh, and please do not rip on or insult Christianity/Catholicism in your reviews. You may agree to my statement about the intimidation and such, but please do not bluntly insult the religion. I am being serious about this. **


	11. Entry 11

**Sorry for the long wait, you guys. My computer was acting strange, and I couldn't open the internet. It's all fixed now, but I'll only be able to update once in a while, so I apologize. Anyways, I'm really going to wrap up this story soon, because I have a lot of other fanfictions I want to start posting; however, there will be some fanfictions I currently have up that will be put on hiatus. **

_**Engraved **_**and **_**Truth or Dare**_** are on hold for a while, mainly because I have writer's block (curses!) and I have no idea how to write the lap-dance scene for **_**Truth or Dare**_**. So, I will be finishing up this, and then I will post what is possibly the greatest fanfiction plot I have ever come up with. It will be called **_**Silencing You**_**, and it is mainly Ivan/Yao, with plenty of other couples thrown in as well. It is an AU set in California. I have to admit, the story is going to be good. **

**Also, I will be making another Diary-fic that goes along with this one. It is written by Antonio, and occurs at the same time as Lovino's. **

**Enjoy this entry!**

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Dear Journal,

I'm acting like one of those teenage girls again. I'm writing this entry while eating gelato and watching soap operas about forbidden love and crap like that. If Francis could see me right now, he'd be trying to get me into a dress or a skirt. That guy is such a rapist. I bet he's been locked up for countless sexual assaults and harassments, but he's a nation, so I guess the let him go. God, I feel sorry for the people of France. Just how can they live a normal life, knowing that the physical representation of their country is a rapist/molester?

Anyways, I'm doing all this girly shit because I'm depressed. Antonio (the biggest fucking jerk in the world) hasn't called me ONCE since the last time we were together, which was when we started making out. What a fucking jerk! The bastard is always calling me about random crap ("Lovi~! There was a rainbow today near my house! You didn't see it, but it was so pretty! It made me think of you, and tomatoes too!"), but when something important and major happens between us, he doesn't call at all? I seriously want to stomp his goddamn guts out for being such a bastard. But whenever I think about seeing him, I get all embarrassed and nervous! And guess what? Today, Feliciano came in eating a plate of paella. PAELLA!!! I asked him where he got that from, and he told me that Antonio gave it to him for being such a cutie. I actually started crying. Fucking Spagna, making me cry like that! I feel like he ripped my heart out of my chest, and he's stepping all over it. The jerk! He talks to my dumbass brother, but not me? Am I really horrible or something?

I really needed advice, so I started calling up the people I'm actually on good terms with. First, I called up Vash. The guy is alright, but he can be way to stingy with money, and he's always snapping at people for not saying what they really feel. When I called and told him that I'm depressed, he told me to stop talking so much because he didn't want to pay a long-distance phone bill. I hung up on the goddamn jerk. Then I called Arthur, since he's always good about dealing with depression and stuff.

This is how the entire conversation went:

Me- "Arthur, I'm depressed, damn it! Help me out here!"

Arthur- "Why are you depressed?"

Me- "Because Antonio is a goddamn bastard, that's why!"

Arthur- "Why do you say that? What did he do?"

Me- "I can't tell you that! But he won't call me back, and he's ignoring me! He talked to Feliciano, and gave him treats, but he hasn't talked to me in days!"

Arthur- "He did? Well, Lovino, you're always quite mean to him."

Me- "What are you talking about? I am not! He's the mean one!"

Arthur- "Lovino, think about it."

Me- "No, he's the jerk! He kissed me, and now he won't talk to me! He's the mean one, not me!"

Arthur- "He did WHAT!!??"

Me- "You heard me! He kissed me, and now he won't even talk to me! But he gave my fucking brother stuff for being cute!"

Arthur- "Holy shit.... Wow, he is a jerk. So did you kiss back or something?"

That was when I hung up. Yeah, I told Arthur that Antonio made out with me, so I guess I can shoot myself for that. But Arthur doesn't spread rumors, since he's a 'gentleman', so I don't have to worry. At least he takes my side on it, so FUCK YOU, ANTONIO!!

So, by now, you know that I love the tomato bastard, right? Journal, I know I'm always denying it, but I actually think I love him. It's not right in my religion but I just can't help it. Besides, I don't think God will damn me for this. He wants us to be happy and have faith in Him, so I think I'll be alright. BUT IF ANTONIO DOESN'T CALL ME UP SOON, I'LL STRANGLE THE BASTARD, AND I WON'T CARE IF I GO TO HELL FOR IT!!! I'LL FUCKING MURDER HIM!

I have to stop writing now. I think I just saw Francis looking in through the window.

~ Lovino Vargas

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**The guards that guard the Vatican are the Swiss Guards, so that is why Lovino called up Vash. **


	12. Entry 12

Dear Journal,

I fucking want to murder Alfred right now. Remember how I told Arthur over the phone about Antonio being a dick for ignoring me after we kissed? Well, Alfred managed to get the information out of Arthur. Arthur called me up earlier today and started apologizing for it, since I was practically screaming murder on him. Arthur told me that Alfred heard a part of the conversation, and started asking what was going on. When Arthur said he wasn't going to tell, Alfred started 'persuading' him. And by persuading, I mean grabbing his vital regions and doing obscene things to them. Of course, Arthur told him, since Alfred's method got a bit more intense. **FUCK!!** I bet the entire world knows by now, and Antonio is probably off somewhere with another person, being the complete jackass he is. I tried calling him again today, but he didn't answer. Is something wrong with me? Am I too much of a jerk to him, so he's returning the favor? I know I can be a bit snappish and rude towards him, but I don't deserve this!

To make things worse, I was visited by Sushi Bastard today. He came by to help me with the situation with Antonio. Goddamn it, Alfred! Anyways, Kiku suddenly pulled out a stack of manga. At first, I thought it was some more shoujo manga, so I was hell of excited. But when he pulled one of the volumes off the pile and handed it to me, it was two men. And they were screwing. I think I screamed like a girl right there, because I dropped the sinful gay porn and ran up to my room. Then I proceeded to lock the door and hide under my bed for a while. Actually, I'm still under the bed. Sushi Bastard is downstairs, talking to Feliciano (probably showing him that goddamn manga porn). I can't get that mental image of the two guys on the cover out of my head. And for some horrible reason, the two guys suddenly change into me and Antonio. And why the hell am I the one on the bottom!? Even in my own mind, I'm the bottom! I think something is seriously wrong with me for even making myself the woman of the relationship.

Antonio still isn't answering his phone. I even called his boss, but he said that Antonio is 'away at the moment'. I don't think three days counts as a moment, you jerk. Antonio is such a fucking dick! How can he ignore me like this? Tomorrow, I'm going over to his house to see what the hell is up. If he's there, I'll beat the fucking life out of him, then stomp on his guts. Bastard.

~Lovino Vargas


	13. Entry 13

Dear Journal,

I want to climb on top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa and scream out "CHIGI!" because I am so fucking embarrassed and pissed at the same time. It turns out that Antonio though **I **regretted the kisses we exchanged, and so he decided that it would be better if he let me ignore him. And here, I'm thinking about how many times I've called him and asked people to give him a message for me. What a fucking dumbass! Would I be trying to contact him if I wanted to ignore him!? He said that he thought I was trying to give me threats or hate-words. Fucking dumbass! Mother fucking dumbass!! I found all of this out when I went over to his place like I said I would, and I found him sulking in his room. I felt kind of bad, actually. I guess I should have came to him sooner to get everything into his thick skull, because that bastard was just moping about. But hey, he was moping about me, so I guess I'm not that pissed at myself. But really, why the fucking hell would I want to ignore him!!?

Well, we kissed a lot after I set everything straight. I just fucking can't get over the fact that I'm gay with Antonio, because its just new to me. Hell, he's my first lover, actually. Damn, I even feel weird when I **write** the word 'lover' when referring to Antonio. I mean, he practically raised me and molded parts of my culture, but at the same time, its like he's an entirely different person as a lover. I'm finding out new things about him that I never knew about before! Journal, did you know that he has a birthmark shaped like a tomato on his thigh? I think he was destined to find tomatoes or something. Fucking lucky bastard! The only birthmark I have looks like a gondola….or a banana. I can't really tell. (Oh shit, I just thought of Antonio saying "Nice banana". That fucking dumbass is taking over my mind, goddamn it!).

Antonio is such an airhead sometimes, so I can bet my ass that he's going to slip it out to Gilbert or Francis the next time they meet for one of their little meetings. I don't want Francis even near Antonio! If he rapes him, I fucking swear that I'll bomb his house first!! And no, I'm not a goddamn terrorist. I'm a badass mobster. Anyways, I think I'll stop writing in you, Journal. I know I haven't completed you, but your pages are all about this entire Antonio predicament. So I think you deserve a special place in my secret room. Fuck, I'm acting like a teenage girl again. Screw it, I don't care. This is the first and last time I ever write in a journal thing.

Well, I have to stop now. I'm going over to Antonio's for some "action", if you know what I mean. Hopefully, he'll let me top this time.

~ Lovino Vargas

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**Don't worry, my dears. There is an epilogue where a certain Spaniard stumbles upon this diary…er…I mean, Journal. **


	14. Epilogue

"Quit treating me like a girl, you damn bastard," Lovino growled in embarrassment. Antonio smiled teasingly and ruffled the Italian's dark hair, admiring the blush that immediately blossomed onto said Italian's cheeks. "I can't help it, Lovi. You're so damn cute! I just want to hug you and never let go!" Lovino turned a deeper shade of red, if that was even possible.

"I-I'll go make some cappuccinos…"

Antonio grinned. "You make the best ones ever. Much better than the ones at Starbucks, at least."

Lovino glared at his boyfriend menacingly, as if daring him to say anything else that compared his cappuccinos to the ones made at Starbucks. "Of course mine are better, jackass! Now just stay in here and keep your hands off anything you see, got it?" The Italian pulled himself away from Antonio, and then hurried out of the bedroom. Only Antonio could make him act so clumsy and hasty like this—well, Francis did too, but that was when he was molesting him. That did not count at all.

Antonio smiled. Lovino was just too cute to get mad at. He was such a—what was the word? It was Japanese, and it referred to someone that always is snappish but is actually adorable… Whatever the word was, that was what Lovino was. Antonio sighed happily and laid back on his boyfriend's bed, closing his eyes and fantasizing about what he would do with Lovino when he returned with their drinks. To put it mildly, the drinks would be long forgotten. Damn. Damn that fucking hurt! Just what was Lovino keeping under his pillow? Rocks? Guns? Antonio turned so he was lying on his stomach, and lifted up the pillow to see what the hell was so hard and uncomfortable under it.

_**Journal of Lovino Vargas**_

_**Hands off, you goddamn bastards!!**_

A diary? A diary! Antonio picked it up without thinking and hugged it to his chest in joy. How adorable could one person be? Lovino had a diary!? That was just too cute for one person to handle without randomly hugging the nearest person or thing. But what kind of adorable thoughts was Lovino writing? Something about how he loved Antonio? Oh fucking hell, the possibilities were endless!

Glancing back over his shoulder to see if Lovino was coming, Antonio opened the diary and began to read.

Oh damn….

"Hey, I'm ba—WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!!??" Lovino dropped the hot drinks on the floor, not caring if there were stains forming. He could blame Antonio for it later. "WHY ARE YOU READING MY JOURNAL, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!??" Lovino tackled the Spaniard and pried the book out of his hands, blushing deeper than any known shade of red.

"You snooping little….!"

"L-Lovi!! I'm so sorry!!" Antonio wailed, hugging his boyfriend tightly. Lovino flushed and shoved the Spaniard away, looking at him in shock and confusion. What the hell? "W-What are you talking about?" Lovino stammered.

"I should have called you sooner! I didn't know you were crying and moping! I'm sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" Antonio bawled, clutching Lovino tightly. Lovino frowned in irritation, but let the bastard hug him. "You damn well better be sorry…. And you made me drop the drinks too, jerk…"

Antonio pulled away for a moment, and looked thoughtfully at Lovino. He then smiled and began laughing.

"W-What is it?"

Antonio bent down a little bit and gently pressed his lips against Lovino's. When he pulled away, he said, "So you really dreamt of being the bottom one, and me the top?"

"C-CHIGI!!!!"

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**SUCKISH ENDING!!! *gets shot***


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